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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Day 13: Wifey-poo, Asshole Cell Phone Thieves, and The Karma They Will Reap

The Good, The Bad and The Writing

The Good
I had a good lunch with my wife and her friends today.

The Bad
Ok, so I am now convinced that common decency is at a premium in this world. I have always wanted to believe the opposite, but no longer. I was working from the Downtown San Antonio Public Library today, and forgot my cell phone in the restroom stall. I went back in there 2 minutes later and the phone was gone. And of course it wasn't turned in. Why do I try to live an honest life when no one else does? Common decency - gone. Sigh. For being such a Catholic city, there is precious few actual Catholic values on display today. My stupidity, I guess. FML My life was in that phone. Fucker!
The Writing
As the thief walked out of the public library and the impending doom cloud descended from above. Oh, it wasn't something that he could see. But it was something he could feel. And would feel until his dying moment. Which for him was not that distant a time away. He would soon learn all about karma and stealing from a witch.
As soon as the theft was discovered by Hank, he went to work preparing the proper spells to either retrieve his property or bring down a wrath upon the man who stole it. It was a quick spell, one that invoked the simple art of focusing karma on an object. Since it was a valuable cell phone it was unlikely that the thief was going to be able to get rid of it very quickly. And maybe, Hank thought, he could make the cocksucker think twice about doing it again.
The cell phone in Jim's pocket began to vibrate. This didn't make sense since he had turned it off. He couldn't have it going off while he was still in the vicinity of the victim. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out. He was a safe distance away from the library and wasn't going to be seen by anyone who would know the phone. When he looked at the display he almost dropped the phone.
Jim depressed the power button to turn it off. Instead it began to power on. This freaked him out a little bit. But he waited for it to power on and then powered it back down and put it back in his pocket. It immediately began to vibrate again. Jim pulled it back out and looked at the display.
Jim put the phone back in his pocket with a chuckle.
He stepped off the curb looking down at his pocket and right in front of the oncoming bus.
Jim's left shoe went flying one way, his brains went another and the cell phone went a third. Hank was right there to pick it up. He did what any good samaritan would. He stayed put and gave a complete report to the ambulance and police when they arrived.

The Moral? None really. Anyone who could learn from this are already beyond my help.

Stay scared my friends,
My Little Demon

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