The Good, The Bad and The Writing
I have a serious character fault.One that gets pointed out to me on a fairly regular basis. I come by it naturally. I inherited it from my mother. And now I realize the cycle is complete. I have become my mother. The worst part about it? I have always hated this quality in her. And now I am mired down by it. The person I truly want to be doesn't have this character flaw. He has plenty of others, but not this one.
So about now you must be thinking two things. 1) What is this horrible flaw? and 2) Why is he going through this lament in "The Good" section of the blog. Is he drinking? And the answer to that last is yes, but that is beside the point. The answer to number 2 is easy. This is in "The Good" section because I decided today to do something about it. I will outline here what I am going to do about it. I am hoping to lessen the fault. I have no delusions that I can ever banish this evil from my personality completely. But I would like to grow out of letting it weigh me down constantly. I am tired of being thought of as this type of person.
Ok, enough with the suspense. I am an extremely negative person. I always find the bad in something. I feel like Jim Carrey in "Yes Man". I am an extreme pessimist. I am never happy with my situation. I can find some good things with that, but I don't think that others would understand (See?). So, rather than try to beat the positive people down more than I already have, I am going to try to join them in their positive bliss. I figure, that changing my evening habits in order to get writing back into my life worked and motivated me to really and truly pursue my dream, and if that worked, maybe changing my behavior and verbal interactions will help me to actually be a more optimistic person.
So, my plan is this. Starting tomorrow I am going to make every effort to be positive about everything. No negative comments (not sure I'll be able to do that in Lady Gaga's case, but I will try). I will try to enjoy her for what she is - a creation of the record company who has no real talent of her own. But she makes people happy, so that is the positive I am going to have to put on it. And rather than trying to figure out why she makes people happy and picking apart all of their reasons, I will just say to myself, "Self, Lady Gaga makes them happy. their reasons are their own. She doesn't make you happy. You don't have to like her. But don't ruin someone else's enjoyment of her "music". Musically, this is going to be the hard for me.
No more bashing San Antonio and its horrible drivers. I'll just grin at the idiots as they struggle to understand basic driving concepts like merging onto and exiting from the freeway. They can be just a little retarded, and I should just be proud of them because they are able to get around on their own. I am going to have to get creative and let's see how long I can make this work. I am going to have to tell myself lots of stories. I am going to try and make it a full thirty days. So by the time holiday shopping is in full swing, I should have conditioned myself to be able to look at the women fighting over the last Harry Potter Doll and think to myself, "How nice. Those women are really dedicated to pursuing their career in the WWE.
This isn't going to be easy. At least that is what I say tonight. Tomorrow I will have to tell myself that there is no other way, but to find the bright side. Yippee, I have to spend $2000 on a complete break job and engine rebuild. That means that my car is going to be safer that it was today. Wow, I had better be the best damn story teller in the world if I am to change this deeply ingrained negativity.
Wish me luck!
Tonight is my last night to bitch about ANYTHING on here until 12/16. So here is a list of things that I truly hate:
Kings of Leon (These guys are the ones that caused me to decide to try this, when I heard them today)
Stores that start selling Xmas decorations before Halloween
San Antonio Drivers (This one may not be too hard to get over, since I think most of them really are mentally challenged)
Most Hip Hop
Stupid People (Beware - If we are talking and I just inexplicably start grinning and nodding, it means I am creating an interesting story in my head as to why you are such a fucking idiot)
I could go on and on all night long, but it is now 10pm and I haven't begun writing in my novel yet. I have a goal of about 2000 words tonight.
new fiction is going into "Just Another Zombie Love Story" tonight. I think a particularly boring part is approaching in the book and I have to find a way to liven it up.
Stay scared my friends,
My Little Demon